Searching for True Love? Look First for the Flame of Love Within

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February is the month when our attention turns to love, romance, and relationships, culminating with the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day on February 14. On that day we traditionally honor those we love with cards, flowers, sweet treats, or other gifts that symbolize our love for them. Certainly these loving relationships are vital in our lives. As humans we thrive in webs of connection. Love is all about connection. We yearn to be with those we love when we cannot be with them. We may think constantly of them when we are apart. We recall happy times together. We may feel a glowing warmth of love when we are with them. 

References to love and romance are often described using images of flame, fire, heat and radiant light, such as “She sets my heart on fire”;  “He’s an old flame”;  “She’s burning with desire” , or “He’s the light of my life”. We often experience feelings of warmth when we are with those we love.

Remembering True Love Within

We typically think of love in relationship to others; and some spend an entire lifetime searching for love and never finding it. That’s because they begin their search for love outside themselves. True Love is within each of us, in our hearts at the core or center of our being. It is of that sacred creative impulse that gives us life and sustains us. That light is the light of Love. It fuels our unfolding as living beings in the natural world. As spiritual teacher Ram Dass said, “Love is the Inner Light in everyone and everything.” Love is our natural state. It is ever there and requires no desperate and anguished searching. It is a matter of our awakening to it. Once we remember and re-connect with the love within, we can more easily open ourselves to extend love to others. 

In order to love others, we must first fall in love with ourselves. Does the idea of self-love sound selfish to you? Actually it is impossible to love others if you cannot love yourself. To love others is to give of ourselves from the inner spark of love that is never extinguished. Such universal love connects us all together. It is enriched and expanded by our choice to embrace a path of loving the True Self. It is this relationship with the True Self  that fuels and nourishes all of our other relationships.

The love light is within each of us and connects us together, yet many have forgotten that it is there. Others sense the call of the heart that may be felt as a deep yearning or desire; that yearning is of the inner impulse to come to full expression of our innate potential. We are alive with this inner flame that connects us with our Source…and it connects us all as one. 

Many suffer a lifetime of longing and yearning, trying to fill the “holes” of emptiness they feel because they have simply forgotten the essential love light that is within. It is the remembrance of our inner flame that can help satisfy our longing. For many others, the flame of love within may have become a mere flicker in their awareness, their true light having been obscured by life experiences that may have included emotional, psychological, physical pain or suffering.

Is it any wonder  that we often use images of fire and flame when we talk about love? That inner light is ever burning, never extinguished; and yet we so easily forget it is there. While the inner light of love ever burns, it needs our continual attention in order to keep it burning brightly in our awareness.

We must tend the flame of our inner light so that we can experience a loving and wholesome relationship with our inner self that then allows us to cultivate deep, meaningful and loving relationships with others. How can we tend the fire within? 

  

Tending the Flame of True Love Within

A campfire metaphor aptly describes some ways to awaken and tend the inner flame of True Love:

Bringing Awareness to the Flame. Campfires require our continual attention. If we neglect the fire due to our forgetfulness or lack of concern, it eventually goes out and we become cold and uncomfortable. Likewise, we must first be aware of the inner flame (or Light) that gives us life and connects us.  We cannot tend it if we are not aware that it is there. It is a matter of awakening to it and giving it careful attention, noticing when the flame seems to be merely flickering and so requiring attention. 

How bright is your inner flame burning in your awareness? How can you remind yourself to bring attention to your inner light on a regular basis?

Fueling/Stoking the Flame.  Fires require regular re-fueling to keep them burning brightly. Often simply blowing your breath on a dying or flickering flame will give it what it needs to burn brightly. Maybe your fire needs more wood. Fires need the proper type of wood in order to burn steady and strong. Perhaps your fire has ample wood but simply needs stoking. Stoking a fire involves simple actions such as re-positioning the wood to allow the fire to burn higher. There are many actions you might use to “fuel” your inner flame. The fire is of life and Love; it is about creativity, vitality, freshness, inspiration, curiosity  What are some ways you can add fuel or stoke you inner flame?  Engage in practices that allow you to connect more deeply with yourself. Examples are mindfulness meditation; yoga; regular physical activity, such as dancing, walking or running; proper nutrition; prayer and contemplation; and creative arts. As you stoke your inner flame of love, you may notice that you become more curious about yourself and the world around you.  You want to explore, to learn, to reach out to others, to engage fully in life. Try pausing regularly in gratitude for your magnificent life that is sparked by the flame of love light. You are awakening to the flame of True Love that is within.

It is about living life more fully and consciously.  If you are feeling down, stuck, unmotivated, confused, turn your attention within. Has your inner spark become a mere flicker because you have become so busy that you have neglected to give it the attention it needs? Recognize that life is full of ups and down. Despite the circumstances of our life, we can be sure that within us glows a flame that is of life itself, that sparks our creativity and yearnings. Remembering it is there is in itself inspiring and reconnects us with the True Love that is at the center of our being.

What changes do you need to make in your life to stoke your inner creative fire so that it glows brighter? How might your close  relationships with others be strengthened by your stoking and re-fueling your inner flame of love?

Basking in the Glowing Warmth of the Fire. Just as you can sit back and enjoy a blazing  campfire once you have fueled and stoked it, you can bask in the warm glow of True Love that connects you with who you really are. The careful attention you give to the fire pays off. Your fire burns brightly.  Enjoy the experience of deep connection with your inner Truth of Love and Light that burns brightly.

How might your life be more fulfilled and meaningful if you devote yourself to tending your inner fire? What gifts might you enjoy as your inner flame glows brightly within?  What is possible for you when you rest in the warm glow of Love from within? 

Connecting Around the Fire. Just as you enjoy the comforting warmth of the campfire’s glow, when you are connected to the center of your being from which True Love flows, you enjoy a deep peace that is warm and comforting. You may sense that you are glowing from within. It is from this deep place of loving connection with the True Self that you can experience your wholeness and you find you naturally desire to reach out in connection to others, sharing your light and love. Others are drawn to the warmth of your fire and you welcome them with open arms into the circle of love light that emanates from within. In this experience, we feel warm and loving, generous in our giving and sharing. We come to trust ourselves and our decisions. In our connection and trust we feel safe to be open to our vulnerabilities.  We open our hearts to welcome others into our circle of Love Light. The love that is within you is the source of the love that connects you in deep and meaningful relationships with those you love and celebrate. Love given from a place of inner True Love is authentic love. It comes from a place of fullness and inner abundance, not from a sense of neediness or lack. It comes from the vital source of who we really are at the center of our being. 

Clearing Away the Ashes.  An important part of maintaining a strong and steady wood fire is regularly clearing away the ashes and other debris. When we allow the ashes to collect, the fire is hampered in its ability to burn efficiently. It is difficult to maintain a fire whose wood is buried in heaps of old ashes and debris. The space for the fire must continually be refreshed by clearing away the ashes. 

What ashes and debris do you need to clear away to allow your inner flame to burn brighter? What aspects of your life no longer serve you and need to be cleared away to allow your light to shine brighter? In what ways do you need to forgive yourself or others to allow your love light to glow rather than be obscured by old hurts and pain?

And Finally…

Your inner flame of true love, while ever glowing within, needs your conscious and loving attention. It glows brighter as you tend it with your conscious awareness and actions. As it grows and glows brighter, your connection with your True Self is strengthened and deepened. Now your desperate search for love is over.  You have come home to love. True Love has been yours all along.

See Related Post: Your True Love Connection

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